Hey FF,
They say family can build you up or destroy you. Well right now it is destroying me. I moved my family being my mom, my sister, her husband, and their two kids, into a three bedroom apartment with me after months of them sleeping on other people’s floors and couches. My sister’s car was repossessed because they couldn’t make the payments so guess who’s car they are using now? Oh you guessed it mine…. I want to help my family but it has become more of an obligation and priority rather than a want. My mom works nowhere and refuses too. My brother in law works but you can tell its barely enough. I hate this! I just did a four year stint in the military got medically retired and all I want to do is take my money go to college, maybe make some friends, and spend my money the way I want living independently. But now I’m stuck with the burden of this. Oh I failed to mention I met this cute woman that works at our apartments who I would and want to ask out but NOPE! Can’t do that. I don’t have my own car to take her anywhere and I live with my mother and two small children. Who wants to date a guy who lives with his mother! Anyway its not like I can have a moment of peace and quiet with a baby crying all the time. I honestly love my family and HAVE to take care of them and I will but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I am not happy at all with my life right now it is going in a bad direction because of this. I worked to hard to be sleeping on the floor spending every last dollar I have to feed people who are not my responsibility and pay a ton of bills.
You are definitely not in a very good place right now. But what are you gonna do? You did what you had to do to get your family off the street. Any girl would admire that, even if she still won’t date you. You have to be careful on so may fronts. You want to help them and from where I am sitting they probably appreciate it but might not show it because they are so caught up in trying to survive.You are already starting to resent them and unless you do something that resentment will only build until the whole thing blows up and then EVERYONE will be worse off than you are now.
I would suggest talking to your brother in law. Ultimately it’s his family his responsibility (except for your mother which is a whole other thing!) Tell him you want to help but already you are starting to resent your decision (make it about the girl or girls a topic you two can both relate too). Tell him you want them to get on their feet once and for all but you are wondering what their plan is’ or if they have one.
Try to keep the conversation light and not confrontational. Be sure to show him you support him but don’t want to SUPPORT him.
Good luck!